The Darwin Act

I would like to suggest some new legislation. I want to call it “The Darwin Act”. Under my new act, any law which has the sole purpose of saving a person from their own stupidity would be taken off the books.
You see, human beings had to be pretty intelligent to get where we are today, from living in caves to building great civilizations, world wonders, making music, art, science. These things took brains. If you were one of those cave people, survival of the fittest was the name of the game. Now “fittest” doesn’t necessarily mean “strongest”. It means you have the ability to adapt to any situation. It also means you have to stay alive long enough to procreate! If you were stupid, you got eaten by a giant cave bear, and you didn’t get to pass on your genes. This way of life quickly weeded out the weak-minded and weak-willed, producing a species that got smarter with every generation. Hence, humanity’s great accomplishments.
What we have now is the complete opposite. We are devolving. Every time a new law passes that protects the idiots from themselves, we get just a little dumber.
When you save an idiot from himself, be it with seat belt laws, drug laws, food laws, you keep him in the gene pool.
Take for instance the Arkansas law that prohibits keeping an alligator in your bathtub. Does this happen often enough that they had to pass a law to prevent it? It probably does. Anyone who keeps a man-eating giant lizard in the tub NEEDS to be eaten by said lizard. You, Gator Man, out of the gene pool now!
That’s just one of many, many such laws designed to keep people from doing something that is so obviously dangerous and stupid that there shouldn’t need to be a law telling you not to do it. I mean, do you really have to tell people in Florida not to have sex with a porcupine? At least one person must have thought this was a good idea, or no one would’ve thought to make a law against it. If you don’t have even the tiny little shred of common sense it requires to know better than to screw a porcupine, of all things, you deserve whatever you get. Which I sincerely hope is the loss of the ability to make babies. Let these people go about their business and eventually they’ll weed themselves out. Society as a whole will be better for it.